Weapon: An L x OC Story
by floodream
Summary: Childhood friends Cyan and L are finally reunited, working under the Kira case. Will things end for them the same way they did at the orphanage? Will they be able to suppress their emotions any longer? Or, more importantly, will they both make it out alive? ((Rating is liable to change throughout the progression of the story!))
1. Chapter 1

_"_ _L, promise that we won't forget each other, alright?" The girl said, her blue eyes big and teary. Her grip on his wrists was so tight… His blood was pounding through to his wrists, and he wouldn't be surprised if his fingers were turning blue. But… He didn't want her to let go._

 _The autumn air blew their hair around, and the swaying of the fiery orange trees caused a whisper in the crisp afternoon air. The leaves scattered the front lawn of the orphanage, and periodic shouts of children could be heard. But L could barely hear them. All he could see was her, her unruly hair as she stood in front of the van, an impatient driver tapping his fingers on the wheel. Whammy was only a few feet off, looking as stoic as ever. Even if he didn't speak, it was clear what he was saying._

 _Hurry up, you two._

 _"_ _I promise, Cyan."_

 _Young L watched in silent terror as the van rumbled down the stone path, making its way down the streets of London. It would be a decade before he saw her again._

It was a rather strange sensation, sitting next to L again. Then again, sitting usually wasn't a part of the young woman's job. Usually, her job required skilled hand-to-hand combat, and the occasional assassination.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves.

"Cyan, have you ran the profiles yet?" The odd man said, not taking his eyes off of his current activity; he was currently beheading a village of gummy bears between his sharp teeth.

"Oh… Is that what I was doing?" Cyan asked, her blue eyes suddenly widening and her face darkening with embarrassment. She was never meant for desk work! She had never had the patience!

The young woman had quite an interesting past; she was an orphan, raised at an orphanage that was notorious for the steady wave of geniuses it produced. Whammy's house. London wouldn't be complete without it. And just as London wouldn't be complete without Whammy's, Cyan wouldn't be complete without her closest friend, L. Even though they hadn't been in contact for some time, Cyan couldn't forget all of the fun they had together as children; most of this fun had been merely reading next to each other in the library or walking around outside together, though Cyan usually had to fight for the strange boy to ever leave the indoors. In many ways, this young woman was lonely. Is that what was so fulfilling about being placed in the Kira case, or was it… something else entirely? Cyan couldn't say.

When it came to looks, Cyan took great care in keeping herself as plain as possible. As an agent for MI6, she had to draw very little attention to herself. She kept her honey brown hair rather short, the longest strands barely making it halfway down her neck. There was more than one reason for this; Cyan had curly, bouncy hair that was often unruly, and proved to be quite a pain when long. She was small in stature, which gave her an additional edge. With someone small and shy looking as a fighter, who would ever assume she knew how to break someone's neck in seven different flavors?

But when it came to L's looks, he hadn't changed a bit. Well, he obviously got taller, and even more spindly. He had gotten even paler too. When they had their awkward reunion, it was one of the first things she had noticed. L took horrible care of himself… And she had thought that some of her skills had rubbed off on him early on!

L hummed in his throat; the closest he could ever usually come to a laugh. "I see. If you find yourself too distracted by my alluring presence, then I have no problem with dismissing you for tonight."

"Shut up! I just hate desk work. Sitting still is driving me insane!" She groaned, gripping at some of her brown hair and pulling it.

"Well, I can tell you that your true purpose will be key to an upcoming task force operation. Is that good enough incentive?" L asked, his large, dark eyes finally flickering over towards the woman.

Suddenly, as though a switch had been flipped, Cyan lit up. The corners of her mouth twitched upward, an excited grin spreading across her plain features.

"Finally! I hate being so damn useless…" She griped, giving L an exaggeratedly mournful look.

Something in L's face changed at that, but he said nothing. His large eyes went back to the skin, which cast a blue light over his exceedingly pale skin, making every black feature on him stand out. From here, he looked like a zombie!

"Yes, well, we will discuss this operation tomorrow, when the task force comes back. It seemed like a bad way to end the day, and keeping them here all night is not a viable option, unfortunately." Said L, who was currently biting on his thumb nail. Why didn't he look more excited? Planning operations was L's life! Cyan frowned, and looked at the male, concern on her face. His eyes were so glued to the screen… And he seemed to have forgotten about peripheral vision. There was no doubt about it, he was avoiding her gaze. But why? He was the detective here, not her. She hadn't a clue.

"Okay. I'd like to stay, but not all of us can function on coffee and diabetes fuel alone." Cyan said teasingly, trying to operate in her more preferred atmosphere. She hated seriousness… Cyan was rarely serious about anything- she'd simply leave a room if it had too much stuffiness when it came to personalities- and the woman seemed to contrast L completely in this way. Well, come to think of it, was there a single way in which they were similar? At this point, Cyan was glad that the rest of the task force had left the hotel. She had zoned out again.

L stared at the woman blankly, taking in every little detail. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't pleased to be working with her, even if she didn't serve a purpose yet. But soon, that would change. And that was exactly what was bothering him. It felt as though the decapitated gummy bears were holding a riot in his stomach; his heart seemed to be beating irregularly… What the hell was happening to him? Cyan could handle herself… Why should he worry? L shook it off. He had other things to direct his mental power to. He watched as Cyan got to her feet and stretched, groaning lowly.

"Well, call me if you find anything! I don't mind how late." She said, giving the male a gentle smile. She brushed off her skirt, and grabbed a small bag that she had parked next to her seat.

"Alright. Goodnight, Cyan." L said lowly, dreading the hours to come. He reveled in silence, and the dark of night had never bothered him before. Why shouldn't he be happy to be alone? Because Cyan was his friend. But so was Light. Suddenly, the dark felt oppressive and dangerous. The hotel room was so dark, only because that was what he always insisted upon. Maybe this was just all in his mind… Or maybe the excessive amounts of coffee was finally taking its toll.

"Goodnight." Cyan returned, walking past L and placing a hand on his head as she went. His hair was still soft… Just like when they were kids! Cyan had commonly used such a gesture when they were young, before they had gone their separate ways. What a blast from the past… Cyan smiled to herself as she walked out of the room, and down the hall, to the elevator and finally down onto the street.

L had disregarded his uninterested ruse; he had watched the young woman leave, his eyes glued to the back of her curly head. He could still feel her hand in his hair… In a single moment, he had been transported to a different decade. It had hit him like a bus. _Cyan… You're wrong. They haven't made a weapon of you yet. Not yet._

 _Please, forgive me._


	2. Chapter 2

_She was running. To who, she wasn't sure. All she could feel was the way her lungs burned, the way they cried for air, the way her bare feet pounded the concrete. The dark night did nothing for her sight. She was sprinting into the dark oblivion ahead of her, blind as to her direction. Beads of sweat accumulated at the back of her neck, and she could hear the pounding of her heart in her ears. Cyan didn't know where she was going, but she knew she was being chased; a horrible, monstrous_ something _was chasing her so closely that she could feel its moist, hot breath assaulting the back of her curly, streaming hair. What… What had she done? Why was this beast pursuing her?! With these thoughts, Cyan felt her ankle twist under her._ Traitor _. Then, she went tumbling to the ground, her knees scraping painfully on the cruel, cold pavement. Then, with a streak of horror seizing her heart, she felt the beast's teeth tearing into her, her blood splashing onto the dark concrete._

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Cyan groggily opened her eyes, and groaned as she slapped 'snooze'. The first thing that she felt was soaked; had she been sweating? Yes… She was as drenched as though she had actually been running during her stressful sleep. It was odd… Nightmares were rare for her. Despite her status as an agent, she never really had bad dreams. Mostly, her mind usually just turned off as she slept. So, why now? Maybe it was the Kira case… Cyan did want to participate, but without a clear target, without the threat being completely physical, she felt more threatened than ever. Not to mention her worry for L… He was getting too close to this whole case. It was too big of a risk to get so close to your prime suspect, especially if you don't know how he kills! Of course, she was referring to Light. He wouldn't be at the meeting today… Oh.

Cyan stood up off of her bed, rubbing her eyes. She had to get ready for the meeting… Finally! She'd be able to show them all that she wasn't a joke. It was no secret that she was a rather ditzy girl. Quickly, she hopped in the shower, and changed into some fresh clothes. A royal blue skirt that was loose enough to be informal, and a light, lacy yellow blouse. These clothes made her look young, but that was the entire scheme! Look childish, then strike!

Before long, Cyan found herself standing in front of the metallic door at the parking garage of headquarters. The camera that was hooked onto the upper right-hand corner of the door glinted at her, looking almost like a strange, alien eye, and she could tell that they were making sure she was actually one of the task force. With apparent approval, the door whizzed open, and Cyan quickly stepped inside, jumping when the door slammed closed behind her. They really didn't wait! Based off of that, she decided that L was probably on door duty, not Watari. Only L would be so impatient.

She reached the end of the hallway, and found a small machine that was seated next to another metallic door. In the center of the machine, there was a small, oval-like glass opening, and Cyan could barely make out a small camera under it. The finger scanner. Cyan sighed, and glared up at the camera that was identical to the one outside.

"I'm only doing this to make you feel better, Ryuzaki!" She said, giving the camera a playful glower.

Cyan knew how much L reveled in his safety, but this was ridiculous! She hastily pressed her thumb against the oval, and the door opened in a rush. Finally, she was in. After a quick elevator ride to the sanctioned meeting floor, Cyan found herself in the hotel-like labyrinth of rooms. She located the right room, and stepped in silently without knocking. Already, she could hear voices speaking, all of them male. From where she stood, all she could see was the coffee table and the backs of a few chairs that were arranged around it. The small hallway that led to the fluorescently lit room seemed to keep her from being noticed.

"Ryuzaki, this plan is just too risky. We're going to get the girl killed." The angry voice of Aizawa growled.

Cyan's ears pricked, hearing the mention of her persona. What? Did they seriously doubt her ability so much? She didn't move, but shut the door noiselessly behind her.

"Mr. Aizawa, I believe I've already addressed this. Cyan is an MI6 agent, and she is fully capable of handling herself, I wouldn't-" She heard L say, his voice rather perturbed.

"You can't expect a twenty-two year old girl to take down a single person in a room of the most influential business executives in the world! I get that she's an agent, but that hotel will be guarded so carefully, and the way that you're going to ask her to do it is suicide!" Aizawa said incredulously.

"Hm. I thought I'd have trouble convincing you. That's why I asked you to come here, before she arrived. I knew that you would all have doubts about this plan, and I'm hoping that you would all be able to come to terms with it so we can move on to the nuances of the real operation…" L said, already dismissing the subject.

Faintly, Cyan could hear Matusda speak. "Are you already saying that you'll get us to agree? I mean, is getting Cyan killed a part of the plan?" He asked, sounding shocked through and through.

There was a sharp clattering noise, and Cyan realized that it was the slap of china against china. She realized that someone must have set their tea down on their saucer hard enough to crack one of them. Or both. The tinkling of broken china could reach Cyan's ears, and the room grew extremely silent. The silence was deafening.

"… Do you honestly believe that I'd send anyone in this room to their death? Much less Cyan? If this is the general consensus of me in this room, then I think it might be appropriate to acquire a new task force…" L said, his voice calm, yet containing a venomous undertone. Woah! Cyan had never heard L sound like that, never in her life…

By now, the tension in the room was seeping into Cyan's chest, causing her heart to pound, and adrenaline to pump into her veins.

The room was deathly quiet for some time. Finally, it was Matsuda who spoke. "I'm sorry, L…. I-I mean, Ryuzaki. I shouldn't have said that. But what you're proposing is sort of insane, and doing it to the girl that you love makes you seem-" Matsuda was cut off suddenly, and an older voice entered the scene.

"Enough, Matsuda. Even though Ryuzaki's plan may seem harsh, the fact that it is Cyan who is being sent should be enough of an insurance for us. I'm positive he wouldn't send her if he wasn't confident she'd be alright. We should accept this plan, and give him as much assistance as we can." Soichiro said, his voice as gruff and over-used as ever.

At this point, Cyan was practically glued to the wall, her eyes as big as plates. She could hear her heart beating, and blood was rushing through her brain at an incredible pace. She felt as though she was in that same nightmare as the one she had last morning, her anxiety seemed to match it entirely… Cyan wasn't afraid though, she was just… Shocked. She stayed still, and waited for L to deny it. _Okay, L. Tell them they're wrong. Tell them that you're not in love with me, and that you had a different reason for calling them here early._

It was quiet again.

L spoke up. "Yes, that was what I was trying to achieve by this. As inhuman as I may seem to you, I wanted to convey I'm conducting this operation with the utmost confidence. I'm certain that she will succeed." He said, his voice calm once again.

"Oh, I get it!" Matsuda exclaimed. "He got us to come here early to see if we'd get it; the way that he feels about her means that he's positive nothing bad will happen." He said, as slow to the catch as ever.

Cyan could practically see L rolling his eyes, even though all she could see was the wall in front of her.

"Yes, well… I'm glad that we're on the same page here. Are there any more questions?" L said, his voice now rather stern. It seemed as though he didn't want to address this subject any longer.

The room unanimously responded with silence, and L spoke again. "Well, we will begin as soon as Cyan arrives. Hm. I let her in about ten minutes ago." He said.

There was only a few times in her life that Cyan fell off of a building. When she did, it always felt as though her heart had been left up at the starting point, leaving her empty skin sinking down into the oblivion below.

This was one of those times.

She could feel her heart contract, and her head began to spin. How… How the hell could she have forgotten?! L had let her in such a long time ago, and he probably already knew that she was there! God, she never made such careless mistakes! She… She had just gotten so carried away at the mention of her… She swallowed, and wished that she could just disappear.

Inevitably, L spoke up.

"Cyan, please, feel free to come out." L said quietly.

Cyan felt as though she had turned to ice, yet her face was hotter than ever. She felt stuck to the floor. The room was so quiet! Cyan felt her joints obeying L's invite, and walked into the open part of the room. Matsuda gasped out loud, and the shocked faces of the task force regarded her carefully. The only person who did not look shocked was L, though he wasn't looking at her; his gaze was down at a new set of china, and he seemed to be adding more sugar. Watari was standing behind him, a dust pan full of broken ceramics in his hand. Cyan realized that there was a tablet sitting on the coffee table in front of L. He must've used that to let her in. And the fact that they were still talking by the time she got here told her that they had probably been arguing for a good long while. L was probably expecting her to knock. She felt like complete and total shit.

Cyan fiddled with her fingers, her face completely red. "I-I'm sorry. I got here early, and I c-came in, but I didn't want to interrupt. Then you w-were talking about me, so I couldn't help it…" She said, cursing herself for her stuttering. Great. Just great. If they didn't doubt her abilities before, they would now.

Much to her surprise, Soichiro was the one who spoke. "Don't apologize, Cyan. Speaking about you before a meeting was rather childish. You are not at fault." He said, his fatherly tone rather soothing.

It did nothing to calm her nerves. Her face was still red, and L seemed to be looking everywhere but at her face.

"Cyan, I also do apologize. Now, let's discuss the operation…" L said, his voice devoid of emotion. Now, he looked at her, only to gesture to an open seat as though they were strangers who had never met. Cyan, as embarrassed as possible, sat down in it, thankful that L was seated away from her.

For the next hour, they discussed the plan. Cyan had been told to conduct a hit on a man who worked in the Yotsuba group by MI6, which worked greatly to the advantage of the task force, as illegal as it was. Policing agencies weren't supposed to assist agents in the hits, but due to this man's crimes, an assassination was called for, and that was where Cyan came in. She had to conduct the hit in a way that made it seem as though he was killed by Kira. This would cause an uproar among the other Yotsuba group members, and if they discussed Kira, then L would be able to make some arrests. A sound, but dangerous plan. Simulating a heart attack would be no joke, and doing it in the hotel of the meeting would be even harder. But it was nothing that Cyan hadn't done before.

Needless to say, the entire meeting was awkward. However, they did get the point across, and the task force members reluctantly agreed to the plan. It was a difficult thing to persuade them to do, but they couldn't miss such an opportunity. Besides, L would still do it without their help.

"Alright, any questions? No? Great, thank you. You are all dismissed. We will continue to go over the specifics for the next week until we all know it by heart. This operation will begin at exactly seven in the evening next Tuesday." L said, his tenor voice even, but slightly hoarse from all of the talking.

"Okay, see you tomorrow, everyone! I'm supposed to go and play Misa's manager again." Matsuda said, standing up and stretching. He nodded to the members, and took his leave. The other members stood up, and looked down at L. They all informed him that they'd be going back down to the main room to continue collecting information on the Yotsuba group.

This left Cyan and L, sitting in silence. After the door closed behind Soichiro, Cyan looked down at her lap, fiddling with her hands again. The awkwardness was horrible! It was suffocating!

"Well… I'm sorry again. I… I shouldn't've eavesdropped. I guess I'll go try and help them now…" She said quietly, her heart somehow very heavy in her chest. When L didn't respond, Cyan got to her feet, guilt burning her face yet again. She took a few steps to the door, the stiffness in her legs keeping her slow.

"Wait."

Cyan stopped walking. She turned, facing L, who was looking into his empty tea cup again, a tray of eaten sweets laying on the coffee table in front of him.

"Cyan, the last thing I wanted to do was let you in on that information. I wanted to keep that from you… Losing your friendship is one of the worst things that I could imagine happening. Now that you know, I'm afraid that it might be too late for that. Things will be strange between us, and you have my deepest apologies-" L said, a strange tremor in his voice.

Cyan cut him off. "L, stop. Nothing has changed… You're still my best friend." She said, her eyes sweeping over him. His black hair was covering his eyes… God, he needed to stop avoiding her!

At her words, however, he looked up at her, his black eyes strangely shocked. _I'm her best friend? Still?_

"Even if I… I just… You know I can't. MI6 is strict about its agents." She said quietly, unsure as to the reason why she had to elaborate.

"I know. I know… And thank you. Next time, when we want to talk about you, we will do it when we're sure you're asleep."

Cyan laughed for the first time in what felt like forever. Good… At least L was assured enough to make a smart-ass comment.

"Alright. Make sure to add a lot of embarrassing stories from the Institute, will you?" She retorted, the smile still on her face. She could see the ghost of a smile on L's lips, and for some reason, felt little sparks shoot through her.

"I already have a few selected." He said, sounding as cool as a running stream.

Cyan grinned, then gave him a nod. "I'm headed down now." She informed, turning and walking towards the door.

Again, L watched her leave, a strange feeling in his chest. How could one person affect him so much? Why was it that whenever she left, she took all of the air out of the room with her? Even as she left, he could still see her, blushing heavily as she was discovered earlier. She had been so embarrassed… At that moment, L knew it was over. Well, that was what he thought. He remembered the terror he felt once he realized that she had to be standing there, listening in. Love… An emotion that he'd never thought he'd be capable of feeling. Ten years hadn't removed his feelings, it seemed.

But her knowing about his feelings wasn't the worst of it. When she responded, she had spoken, then stopped herself. He remembered what she said… " _'Even if I…_ '"

It wasn't hard for him to fill in the gap.

 _Even if I did love you…_ Had to be what she was going to say.

That had to be what she was thinking. It could be nothing else. Thank god she wasn't the critical-type. Rejection, it seemed, was a rather horrid feeling. His heart felt as though it was being torn in two… Yet, he could handle it. What he couldn't handle would be Cyan distancing herself. Ten years was an eternity… How would a lifetime feel without her, then?

Cyan walked back to the elevator, her mind racing. What to think about first, the impending mission or L's feelings? Her mind was being drawn towards the latter… Could it be possible? It was so strange to think about, and L didn't deny it at all… She didn't know what to think. But she knew what she felt, and quite frankly, it scared her. It scared her, the way she was imagining L's touch, and his soft hair… _No! H-He's my best friend, and I can't afford to think about it… And I need to remember what my training taught me. The more invested you are, the more you have to lose._

It was her fear that followed her from the hotel after work that night, and she could feel it, as close and real as the beast in her nightmare.

She fought the urge to run.


	3. Chapter 3

The next few days past in a whirlwind of events, one day just the same as the last. Ever since the awkward encounter with L and the task force, Cyan had to report to the same meeting, in which the whole task force and L would go over every minute detail of the plan. Repetition, repetition, repetition… And Cyan could barely stomach the boredom! She often complained to L about it, but he didn't want to hear it. He insisted upon this plan going as smoothly as possible, and pounded the details as thoroughly as he could into the heads of his abused task force. Even Soichiro had asked for a break! Tuesday was the day the operation would commence, and they were only on Saturday!

Cyan couldn't deny it; she was nervous. It was very important, and if she screwed up, then the whole case could be jeopardized. However, she spent ten whole years of her life on learning how to not make mistakes. Agents weren't allowed to do such things. Cyan knew she could do it. But it was L who was driving her up the wall! Even when they spoke after the day was done, he would just ask questions as though pop-quizzing her, and was completely relentless.

The very same thing happened on Saturday.

Cyan stayed behind as she usually did, wanting to give L at least a little company after the task force had called it quits for the night. It was hard to evade the awkwardness of their last meeting when they sat in silence. After eavesdropping on a conversation about herself between L and the team, Cyan had stumbled upon the information that L apparently was in love with her. Due to this, she had spent many a-night since lying flat on her bed and staring up at the ceiling, allowing her brain to go rampant. She imagined what it would have been like to have spent the years training with L instead. What would have happened when they were teenagers? Did L really begin to love her when they were children? Or, most importantly… What did she feel? What did MI6 allow her to feel?

These questions had robbed her of too many hours of sleep.

She sat in silence, not really working but listening to the _plop, plop, plop_ of L adding way too many sugar cubes into his coffee. He never mentioned his feelings again after that… While Cyan supposed this was probably for the better, it was eating away at her!

"Alright, Cyan, what will you do when you run into Alastair?" He said, obviously beginning his now-routine questionnaire.

Cyan groaned loudly, sounding like a child being told to clean their putrid room. "L, you're driving us crazy! When I run into him, I will use my feminine charms to entrance him, and convince him to eat only butter until he dies of a heart attack." She said sarcastically, folding her arms over her muscled yet wiry chest. "Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if I do mess up now. You're freaking me out!"

L, amused by her ranting, only closed his eyes briefly and sighed. "I acknowledge the fact that I've been working you all very hard, and I apologize. However, this all must go perfectly in order to cause the chaos we need, and I'm only asking-"

"- for us all to be as prepared as possible for the mission ahead. I've heard this one before, dork." Cyan answered his speech, a playful but tired smile on her face.

L looked at her with wide eyes. "That bad? Hm, I don't recall telling that one…" He mused, his eyes flickering back to the screen. Even though he too was tired of reiterating the same thing over and over, he was unable to bring himself to not study for this. It was too important.

"I get that you want everything to go smoothly, L. I understand. But that includes the fact that I know the risk, and this is really putting me under a lot more pressure than required. I mean, I already know that I can't mess this one up, and I won't. I promise. But being reminded everyday of what could happen if I do seems to be bad Juju…" Cyan said, speaking as she looked at her screen, though she saw nothing. Her mind was elsewhere.

"Screw the mission, Cyan. This is about you and your safety. Don't you see that?" L whispered, his thumb in his mouth to muffle his already-soft words. He didn't look away from the screen; he was glued to it.

Cyan's heart seemed to stop momentarily, then gave a great leap. W-What?! S-Screw the mission?! Who was it that she was talking to?! Was he really implying that the reason he was pounding them so hard was to make sure that she would be safe no matter what? Realization then sunk in. He wanted everyone to know their parts perfectly, and she remembered that he had instructed each member of the task force in a plan B that would lead them to her if she got hurt. That way, four people would be able to provide her safety if need be. All along, she had only assumed that this was just to keep an agent from being discovered, or even just to make the plan easier. In fact, she felt ridiculous for not allowing herself to see it that way before… He was doing all of this based off of emotion, something he rarely ever did. All the young woman could do was allow her eyes to widen to the size of dinner plates, and stare at her clenched fists, completely red in the face. She couldn't speak! She couldn't even try! How would a normal girl go about handling this?

L's pulse was racing. Did he really say that?! He supposed that the words in his mind escaped through his mouth, something he wasn't used to. What he said was something to the tune of what he had always wanted to say. In his mind, he had a picture of himself. Not entirely him, but him enough to be the person he had always wanted to be. One that was bold in the places he wanted to be bold, someone strong enough to be honest instead of just telling witty jokes. He stared at the screen in disbelief, wondering if Cyan would get mad at him. She would tell him to keep his personal life out of the workplace… He had to fix this, quick!

"I mean, having a successful mission is very important. And I wanted to stress that to you, and my concern for your well-being is very much tied with the success of the mission on my list. Th-That's why I needed to enforce memorization, because I-"

Oh God, was he stuttering?! L never stuttered!

"L, shut up for a second." She said quietly, cutting into his words.

He immediately went quiet. Shit! Why the hell was he so nervous?! They were just a few harmless words… Well, they did get in the way of his professional interest as a detective, and he didn't literally mean that the operation wasn't important. It really, really was. But… He did have priorities, and Cyan was one of them. And not to mention the fact that he had brought up remnants of that awkward happening, something that he knew the two of them were keen to avoid. Could she be mad that he was trying to cover it up? Why the hell was she being so quiet?! It was now that L had added a new emotion to his pallet; true panic.

Cyan seemed to be thinking deeply. He could see that she hadn't moved an inch, and had remained in the exactly same position for precisely twenty-three seconds in total. He wasn't looking at her, but he knew that she wasn't moving at all. Then, those twenty-three seconds ran out. Quietly, Cyan got up to her feet, not making a single sound. She turned to face L, then walked over to him with careful steps. Her heart was hammering so loudly… Could he hear it? She didn't stop walking until she was directly in front of him, yet he didn't move. He couldn't. His eyes were even wider than normal, and he didn't look away from the screen or move. If the situation wasn't tense, Cyan would have laughed at how he was pretending she wasn't there.

Gently, she reached out with a trembling hand to cup the side of his face, and turned his head to look up at her. His skin was smoother than she expected it to be… And now he was looking up at her with a truly horrified yet captivated expression. She lowered herself into the seat next to his, so now they were pretty much at eye-level. Well, L was taller than her now.

But she hadn't moved her hand. Instead of pulling away like her mind told her to, she was leaning forward, looking directly into the man's eyes. And in her numb stupor, she felt that it was natural, the way he was already leaning in to intercept her, the way his eyelids were lowering to cover his huge pupils, the way she could feel his baited breathing on her lips. Within the matter of a second, his lips brushed against hers, much too softly at first, much too nervously. Then, after just a short while, he was deepening the kiss, and she melted against him, her eyes fluttering shut. She moved her hand up his face and into his soft, wild black hair, and pulled at it gently. He was so careful, so meticulous about the way he did this... He moved his lips carefully over hers, calculating every swipe as though he was trying to maximize his credibility as a kisser. It was almost as though he was surprised that she hadn't told him to stop yet! Cyan's heart sang in her ears, and in this moment, all there was was L. The boy she had grown up with, who might have been dreaming about this for years… The one that she had tried to not imagine doing this with, for fear that she might fall for him. It was crumbling away, all of these long days of awkwardness and uptight-exchanges… Forget the days, now the years spent apart were now evaporating into thin air.

And in what felt like a blink of an eye, she pulled away, only to gasp quietly for breath. L too was panting; they mirrored each other in the way that they both seemed surprised and hungry. L's dark eyes fixed on her, still slightly lidded after their encounter. She looked right back, feeling as though her face was on fire. That was a perfect kiss, and they both knew it too. In their glance, they seemed to exchange that knowledge.

Cyan didn't regret this. Not in the least. But… Wouldn't this be a distraction? _Nothing comes above a mission_ … An agent's creed. Something that they all needed to remember. There was nothing but the assignment. But now, after the heat of the moment, L seemed to be able to read her thoughts. With his face slightly flushed, he turned back to the computer, hoping to break their gaze.

There was silence for a few moments, and Cyan looked back down at her lap.

"If you… If you want me to forget about that, I will. If this interferes with your status, I won't blame you for it. I know that this has the potential to undermine everything you've worked for. I will still be in love with you, even if you don't want to remember this." L said, his voice positively shaking.

Cyan felt her heart melt a little at that. It was true, this did complicate everything… But not once did L mention how the kiss would affect his duties. Cyan had to smile at that. She could still feel his soft, large lips engulfing hers, and the thought nearly set her on fire… And did L really still think that this whole thing was still one-sided? Cyan would have thought the answer was obvious. However, she did have to think about this. Maybe she could try to continue this without falling too deeply. That ought to be fine, right? She was no longer sure.

"I wouldn't want to forget it." She answered in a simple whisper.

L suddenly tensed up, as though shocked and flattered at the same time. There was even a small blush on his cheeks! Cyan laughed, sounding sort of exhausted. She thought about giving him a kiss on the cheek, but decided against it. After all, she had used a lot of bravery in walking over to kiss him in the first place!

"I guess… I'll see you tomorrow. We can discuss the operation… Again." She said light-heartedly.

"I look forward to it, Cyan." L said, his shoulders finally relaxing. Finally, he turned to look up at her again, his eyes mostly back to normal. He gave her an almost imperceptible smile, then refocused his attention at the screen.

As Cyan made her way out of the building once again, she was wrapped up in the memory of the kiss. She was positive it wasn't a mistake. She knew it wasn't. But mostly, MI6 would disagree. Relationships lead to weakness… At a point in her life where she needed to be the strongest, she suddenly found herself caught between what she wanted and what she needed to do. Which begged the question… How long would this last?

One thing that she knew for sure was that she herself had crossed the line. If she ended up hurting him, he might never heal… However, in her heart of hearts she knew that it was already too late to back down.


	4. Chapter 4

The days leading up to the operation happened in a blur. They all seemed to start with the routine exercise of the memorization of every minute detail of the plan, and end in something much more… Exciting.

Take now, for instance.

L had one hand on the small of her back, and the other on the back of her neck, keeping her body close yet accessible to his mouth. Just these small touches alone were enough to make her melt, but that was nothing compared to his kissing. Even though he'd been a little inexperienced in the beginning of these occasions, he was a fast learner. And it seemed to come naturally to him… Cyan felt his larger lips glide over top of hers in a careful but assertive way. That was all she could feel now… Every brush of his lips, every taste of his tongue seemed to send her senses firing! She knew that she was a blushing mess. The only thing that made her aware of the fact that L wasn't totally calm either was that she could feel the hammering of his heart against her own chest. It was beating so fast…

And this ritual had all began with that first kiss. It was confusing as hell, but Cyan couldn't fight the fact that she was absolutely crazy for these times of day. The time after all of the other members left, so that she and L could walk to the only place that wasn't monitored by cameras; L's bedroom. It was odd that he even needed one, considering the fact that he almost never used it. Before they would walk up, he'd set up a fake glitch, one that froze the cameras on the image that they had seen for about two minutes, without a lapse in the time. So, while the cameras watched them walk quietly up to his room, all they reported back was the empty hallway. Neither of them wanted to stop this little fling, and they thought being caught might lead to some repercussions.

Now, it wasn't how it looked.

It was the only place in the whole building that wasn't monitored! And kissing out in the open like that was dangerous, so they both agreed to just use the one isolated place that there was. There was no way she'd sleep with him! This was just kissing… To her, it was innocent enough.

And, she trusted L. If she told him to stop, she was positive that he would.

That was how they came to be there, standing in the hallway of L's room, his bed seemingly a mile away. His back was to the wall, and he was holding her close to him, and using his natural slump to lean down and kiss her steamily. She was pretty short, in all actuality, and had to angle her head up in order for their lips to touch. Actually, she'd never really noticed how tall he was. Or how truly thin he was. Sure, he wasn't scrawny, but underneath just a tiny bit of lean muscle, she could feel his ribcage pressing against her breast.

It wasn't like he didn't eat a lot! Cyan had spent half of her life nagging L about how he ate. She had always told him to eat healthy, or at least limit the sweets, but he hadn't relented. Neither had she. After feeling him so closely however, she decided that she'd try to get him to eat more now.

Almost as if sensing her train of thought begin to wander, L pulled away, his large, dark eyes gleaming hungrily down at her. They seemed to be almost questioning, but Cyan had no time to try and confirm this. He was already using his slouch to lean around and kiss the side of her neck, seemingly demanded that she pay him her full attention. Her eyes widened and she gasped, feeling the male's cool, moist lips against her hot neck. This gasp seemed to give him fuel; L bit her carefully, close to her ear but still on her pale neck. This really made her gasp, causing her heart to contract tightly. Since when was L so adventurous?!

This seemed to be a satisfying experiment to L, because he stopped what he was doing to pull away, now staring down at her carefully.

"I apologize for that… It appears as though I got carried away." He said calmly, reaching up to ghost his fingers over where he left a pink mark on her skin.

Cyan sighed. "It's okay. I just wasn't expecting it." She said, trying her hardest to conceal how much she was shaking. At least her voice sounded steady… But her whole body was shaking like a leaf!

"Are you nervous? Or just cold?" L said quietly, giving the girl the smallest of teasing smiles. He could feel her shaking… He'd never thought he actually had such an effect on her before.

"Shut up, dork." Cyan said, her lips spreading into a smile. This was still so odd… They had been friends for so long, and treating him differently from that was a little strange. Or was it? It felt as though she'd always wanted to do this… To kiss him, to touch him… Maybe it wasn't so odd after all.

"Yes, well… While we're alone, I think I should tell you something. It is highly likely that you won't like what I have to say, so I will apologize in advance." Said L.

Cyan gave him a look of astonishment. L was seldom serious about times like these when they were able to kiss each other. Why now? Was this about the operation?

"I have contacted MI6, and I am going to have you replaced. You will no longer work in the Kira case." He said calmly, gazing at her with a subdued expression.

It felt like a dam broke inside of Cyan as soon as the words escaped his lips. What?! What the actual hell?! Cyan's face immediately went red, and she backed out of his hold, pushing his arms away.

"After all of that damned stupid drilling about this operation?! Who the hell else are you going to get? Why are you doing this all of the sudden?" She exploded, glaring at male across from her.

L knew that look. He knew that he was in for it. When Cyan went red with anger and crossed her arms over her wiry chest like that, he knew that she would never budge from her position. The only thing to do know was to try and calm her rage… if that was even possible.

"I am sorry, Cyan, but this is the only thing I can do to ensure your safety and continued survival-"

"Shut up! That is the stupidest thing… I-I can't believe… What the hell is wrong with you? I want to work on this case, and just because we make out sometimes doesn't give you the right to boss me around. Maybe you being my boss does, but the L that I know wouldn't allow himself to get emotionally compromised. I can do this, L. Don't be an idiot. I know that you're just trying to protect me, but… But it's sappy and pathetic! That is so unlike you. I never thought you'd be so cliché." Cyan ranted, the words coming out of her like venom. She knew it was mean… But she refused to have L do something as ignorant and selfish as this! He had to learn that love wasn't being overprotective. Or… Well, how would she know?

L was quiet for a moment, his bangs moving to cast a shadow over his pale face. He looked distinctly guilty… Good. Let him be.

"I understand that you're upset, but I want you to consider what this means. I want you to know how much you matter to me, I want you to understand that I can feel this way about someone, about you…" He murmured, his head angled downward. Even as he spoke, he knew how it sounded, and he hated every damn second of it. He sounded… Weak.

"Most people stick to roses." Cyan replied coldly. "Now, go back and tell MI6 that it was a mistake. You know that you're being ridiculous. I swear… This was a mistake. I should've stopped this a while ago. Maybe I could like you, but I'm not sure if you know how to love."

L couldn't hold his tongue; these harsh words hurt, and he was confused… Shouldn't this be at least slightly flattering? "Can't you see that I'm just trying to keep you safe? You know that this mission is dangerous, and now that we've gotten close, it has become clear to me that I cannot lose you. You are the strongest person that I know. Don't think I am underestimating you're abilities… I am underestimating mine. If you fail on this mission, it won't be your fault; it will be mine. And then, I will be responsible of the only person I love. But maybe I don't even know how to love, as you put it." He finished, his voice stern and quiet.

Cyan stared at him, unable to meet his eyes through the shadow that blocked them. Suddenly, a fresh, stinging wave of guilt passed over her. She had misinterpreted this… It was still selfish of L, but maybe he deserved to be selfish. She knew how hard his childhood had been on him. She didn't know how to react… Should she still be mad? He was only doubting his own abilities of planning this insurgence, but it reflected poorly on her. It made him seem like he was only making this decision on emotion, almost as though to prove that he actually could feel things. Cyan knew he could feel… Such a fact was obvious to her know. But she was unsure if L was using his mind or his heart on this. Maybe he was using some of both. Cyan had said some things that she couldn't take back… She hadn't meant most of it, she had just been upset and betrayed. But that didn't make it alright.

"L… I'm sorry. I think I understand now… But I can do this. You are an excellent detective, and there is nothing wrong with your plan. We can do this if we try our hardest. We make a good team." Cyan said finally, her voice quiet and slightly sad. By now, she really did feel bad about what she said… It was unlike her to get so angry, but she couldn't stand being thought weak or incapable. Especially by someone who she held dear.

L finally looked at her, his expression melancholy and distant. Her words had been harsh… And several times, she'd been right. He wanted her out of the Kira case for entirely selfish reasons, but he wanted her to be safe. He'd spend the rest of his life blaming himself if she got killed during it. But he couldn't speak. The fact that even Cyan thought that he couldn't love hurt, and it made the idea of his lack of love seem all the more real. Maybe he really was unable to feel such things…

Cyan cleared her throat. "Love makes people do weird things… I really am sorry, L. I just got angry… You understand, right? Please say that you do, I hope I didn't hurt you…" She murmured, taking a step closer to him and gently placing a hand on the side of his face.

The tall, dark male's eyes widened as she spoke, and he couldn't help but lean into her touch. "I… I already said that I thought you would get angry with me, Cyan. Don't you remember?" He said, still looking a little shocked.

Cyan rolled her eyes. What a know it all! Before she could respond, she was cut off.

"I don't want you to think that I don't love you. I cannot have you thinking that. Especially on the eve of something so dangerous…" L said quietly, taking his own hand and placing it against Cyan's as she held it against his face. He stared intently into her blue eyes, taking in her astonishment, her shocked look. "I have always loved you, Cyan. As much as a person like me can feel love." He said, his voice melodious but sad at the same time.

Cyan's heart gave a painful squeeze. Always? Even when they were kids? A sudden rush came to her, the memories of the orphanage and times when L had done things for her, things that had seemed suspicious at the time. They had all been explained with one simple answer; he had always loved her. That really explained so much…

She stepped closer suddenly, pulling her hand away so that she could wrap both arms around his thin frame, while burying her head in the crook of his neck. He smelled like ink and pastries… He smelled familiar. Like home. Her heart was beating faster than ever before…

"L? I… I think I might love you too…" She whispered against his skin.

It wasn't long before they were wrapped up in each other again, sharing their pain and fear of the days ahead.


	5. Chapter 5

It wasn't long until it was time for the operation. Tuesday morning came, and the calm quiet that arises prior to a mission was gripping the young woman who sat on the balcony of her hotel room, her legs crossed as she stared at the purple horizon. She watched as the stars were chased from the sky by the beautiful cool hues, waiting for the warmer colors to enchant the morning sky. It was strange… She was never nervous before her missions. She simply got quiet and reflective, and became acutely aware of the way nature changed around her. A light gust stirred the wind around her perch, mostly due to the fact that she was twenty-three stories up in the air. Her eyes didn't waver to look at the ground, however. She just seemed concerned about the soon-to-be-rising sun.

In a way, Cyan became a person who seemed to be on the brink of death before missions. A quiet intensity burned in her heart, and it appeared as though she had accepted her fate. This was obviously not the case, though. Cyan didn't want to die, nor did she want to lose during a mission. She was just too stubborn for that! The young woman would fight to survive with every last ounce of her strength. But on the surface, she acted like she had some terminal disease before going out.

That was only before missions. During missions, she had the time of her life! Cyan was able to let off steam, and show her skills. Often times, she was unable to control her tongue. She would be more carefree than ever, and that was really saying something.

Finally, Cyan saw the sky light up with a beautiful array of gold, splattering the morning sky with orangish colors. It was beautiful… Ad soon enough, the sun was peeking out over the horizon, looking like a child that had awoken to look over the top of his crib. Cyan stretched, then sighed. It was time to go down there… Cyan turned, and slipped off the side of the balcony, her bare feet hitting the concrete with a gentle, fleshy tap. She went into her room, and went into her closet. There, she had her costume, her under-suit, and of course, her weapons. Her under-suit went on first. It was all black and skin tight, short-sleeved and cut off around mid-thigh. Then, with all of the appropriate holes that were sewn into the flexible, yet tough material, Cyan placed her weapons. Mostly, they were a vast array of knives, brass knuckles, and metal bars. They were all quiet, and wouldn't draw attention like a gun would. In the end, a total of six knives were all over her body, and other weapons were concealed elsewhere. Then, as cliché as it was, Cyan put on her modest chambermaid outfit. Just a starched blue dress that ended mid-calf, and cut off at the elbows. On top of that went her somewhat-frilly white apron. White socks went up to her knee, and her black shoes matched.

There… Almost perfect. As the icing on top of the cake, Cyan pulled out her main weapon. A smooth, small, titanium needle, encased in a white napkin, it's dangerously sharp end stuck in a cork. It was only about five inches in length, and it got so thin at the end that one could barely see it. Despite this flimsy appearance, it was as strong as a bar for a stop sign. It would be the key to the operation today. She kept this more accessible, and folded the handkerchief that encased it in her apron.

Cyan was finally ready. She checked her appearance in the mirror, and brushed through her curly, brown hair, and flattening down her bangs. She had already put on some light make-up, just to avoid suspicion. The woman turned on heel, and began to walk down to the main room. It was a little humiliating to be dressed this way, but at least she didn't have to dress like a French maid. Before long, she was entering the room lit by computer screens alone. She tried to look as proud as she could, but a faint blush had spread across her cheeks. This was just so damn embarrassing! Cyan bit her lip, then approached the men who were bustling around the desks, setting up their hidden cameras and calling the rides that would transport them to the building to assume their stations. She cleared her throat, and a few of them turned, looking pretty jumpy. It was a shock to see her in such an outfit! Not that she wasn't girly, and it wasn't as though this outfit was revealing; it was just hard for the task force to imagine Cyan having the willpower to serve someone like a maid!

L was one of them, though he didn't stand; he simply turned his head around to look back at her, his gaze slightly unsettled. She looked around at all of them, frowning indignantly.

"Okay… Can we go yet?" Cyan asked after an awkward pause, reaching up to scratch the back of her head.

At that, the rest of them seemed to relax a bit. Matsuda smiled, and it was funny to note that Aizawa was too, if only slightly. L didn't smile. He watched her, his eyes wide. He was the one who spoke first.

"Not yet. Preparations are underway now. If you don't mind, I would like a word, please." He said, looking slightly unsettled. L got to his feet awkwardly, his back cracking as he did. Cyan winced. L needed a chiropractor… Before she knew it, the task force witness the two walking away from the rest of them, as easy as that.

Once they were out of sight, Matsuda laughed. "No way! I never thought that would've happened!" He exclaimed loudly.

Aizawa groaned, glaring at the man. "Just get to work, alright?" He muttered, looking as though he wanted to focus on work and work alone.

Cyan found herself following L, his hunched form finally selecting a room very close to the main office. She peered around. It was identical to every other room in the hotel, and the light of the early morning was already pouring in through the curtains. She looked at L curiously as he got to the window of the room, peering out for a moment, his index finger in his mouth. Then, after a brief beat of silence, he turned to face Cyan, who was standing in the dead center of the room.

"I'm sorry if I have embarrassed you by requesting a private conference in front of them." L finally said.

Cyan had to smile at the way he spoke so formally; it was something about him that would never change.

"It's alright. So… What did you want to say?" She asked, already knowing what it would probably be. L looked at the young woman, his eyes huge and calculating. Was she really a woman now? L would always see her as a girl, and that was for certain. It helped that she never really acted her age anyway… He took a deep breath and sighed, dropping his hand away from his mouth.

"Be careful. Please. And…" L began, but he hesitated. Should he say it? Would it be too morbid? He quickly calculated the odds in his head, and while he was doing so, he failed to notice that Cyan had walked right up to him. Without thinking twice about it, she had her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer to her short height. No words were exchanged; she simply kissed him, placing her lips gently against his. His lips were so cool… and larger than hers. Even though they had been doing this a lot lately, it still made her lungs feel as though they were on fire. Every cell of her body was electrified…

What really got her pulse going was when he kissed her back, melting against her lips and beginning to kiss her more passionately. He placed a tentative hand on the small of her back, bringing her closer to his body. She felt as though she was liquefying where she stood! Cyan was able to remember every good time they had had when they were children, how much she had truly longed for him all of this time. Finally, they were breaking the kiss, their faces still very close as they gasped for air. They stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds too long, before Cyan's eyes flickered to the ground as she released her hold on his neck, backing away.

L had always loved these kisses; in all honesty, he had expected to go through his life alone. Not loving or being loved. But both of those were proven wrong. He had always loved Cyan… And she had said that she loved him. She really did…

Cyan gave him a small smile, staring up at his eyes again.

"Don't worry… And I'll be back soon."


End file.
